{"id":10419,"date":"2023-06-29T13:21:15","date_gmt":"2023-06-29T03:21:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theliftproject.global\/lift\/?page_id=10419"},"modified":"2026-07-08T14:38:44","modified_gmt":"2026-07-08T04:38:44","slug":"1vfdqgg6t2a","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/theliftproject.global\/lift\/1vfdqgg6t2a\/","title":{"rendered":"Schools Lesson 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"The<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

In this lesson you will learn about your “Limbo”, which is the nickname I have given to the part of the brain responsible for emotions, as well as memory, motivation and many automatic bodily processes. You will discover that it is ‘wired’ to the area of your higher brain (I call the “Leader”) responsible for speech and language. The take away message is “Your Limbo is listening”, so #speakpositively.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/i><\/i><\/span>1. LEARN. Explore the content.<\/span><\/a><\/h4><\/div>
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Watch, read, or listen – or do all three!<\/p>\n

<\/i>WATCH<\/span><\/a><\/div>
<\/div>
<\/i>READ<\/span><\/a><\/div>
<\/div>
<\/i>LISTEN<\/span><\/a><\/div>
<\/div>\n

OR watch the young \/ ‘young at heart’<\/strong> version
(Use the CC and Settings (cog icon) on the video to access captions and language subtitles)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

WATCH<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/i><\/i><\/span>2. EXPERIENCE. Challenge yourself.<\/span><\/a><\/h4><\/div>
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Here are some ways to put the learnings into practice. Remember, if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn\u2019t change you!
1. Each day this week <\/b>go out of your way to give someone a genuine compliment, something that will make them feel really good about themselves. It will increase your Positivity Ratio!
2. Once this week<\/b> find a text or saying (or several) that you find inspirational and make an effort to memorise it. If you find yourself speaking negatively to yourself, stop and recite back these inspirational words.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/i><\/i><\/span>3. THINK. Reflect and take the quiz.<\/span><\/a><\/h4><\/div>
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What did you learn in this topic and how did you go with the challenges?
Take the Quiz in your workbook.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/i><\/i><\/span>4. SHARE. Lift others.<\/span><\/a><\/h4><\/div>
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Share what you are learning and experiencing with someone else who might need a lift. After all, we rise by lifting others!
Discover<\/a><\/strong> some ways to connect and share with the lift community. If you are on social media, use the tags: #yourlimboislistening #theliftproject #speakpositively<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/i><\/i><\/span>Additional Resources<\/span><\/a><\/h4><\/div>
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Here are some additional resources relating to this lesson:<\/strong><\/p>\n

><\/strong> I love this short video called \u201cValidation<\/u><\/a><\/strong>“, especially the first few minutes.
><\/strong> Kid President sums up the message of this lesson so eloquently in this video titled “20 things we should say more often!<\/a><\/strong>“
><\/strong> Here is the full interview I did with family life expert Dr Trafford Fischer where we talk about the positivity ratio<\/a><\/strong> in relationships.<\/p>\n

Links to other websites are provided to complement your Lift journey. We do not have control over the content or practices of external websites and are not responsible for any information or actions that you may take based on information you find on those sites.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Your Limbo is Listening<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

– \u00a0Speak Positively –<\/span><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/h2>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div>

I never came across any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.<\/em><\/p>\n

– <\/em>Albert Einstein –<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

I am really glad you are joining The Lift Project, and here\u2019s why.<\/p>\n

In 2016, when I first presented The Lift Project to a group of people in my local community hall, it was already clear that mental distress was escalating out of control. Despite my home country of Australia commonly ranking in the top 10 \u201chappiest\u201d countries in the world, according to the World Happiness Report<\/a><\/b>, antidepressant usage had doubled over the previous decade, making them the most commonly used medications<\/a><\/b>, taken by approximately one in 8 adults every day<\/a><\/b>. The statistics were similar in other developed countries like the United States<\/a><\/b> and the United Kingdom<\/a><\/b>.<\/p>\n

That was the mental health landscape before<\/em> the COVID-19 pandemic. As the pandemic dragged on, studies<\/a><\/b> indicated that rates of mental distress tripled.<\/p>\n

In short, feeling down is on the up. People everywhere are struggling with their mental health and wellbeing and are looking for solutions to help them feel better.<\/p>\n

But there is some light in the darkness. Studies from three scientific disciplines\u2014Neuroscience, Lifestyle Medicine and Positive Psychology\u2014are showing that there are simple but effective things people can do to feel better than they do. In fact, some of the science-based strategies emerging from these fields of research have been shown to lift people\u2019s mood almost instantly, and in some instances even provide similar benefit to medications.<\/p>\n

The aim of The Lift Project is to bring all these strategies together into an educational adventure, with the goal to lift people\u2019s mood and their lives. What is unique about The Lift Project is that it not only shows how<\/em> to lift your mood and your life, but also why<\/em> these strategies work.<\/p>\n

The feedback from that first community program in 2016 was heart-warming. Impressed that people everywhere need to undertake The Lift Project, I next taught it to a group of University students and researched the outcomes. Over the course of the program, the students\u2019 reported significant improvements in their mental health and wellbeing, which was published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine<\/a><\/b>. Notably, the students who benefited the most were those who started lowest on the mental health ladder. This galvanised my conviction that people everywhere needed to discover and engage with The Lift Project.<\/p>\n

Fast forward to today: tens of thousands of people, from numerous countries, have participated in The Lift Project\u2014in educational, health care, workplace and community settings. Rigorous studies, including randomised controlled trials, have examined the effectiveness of the program and been published in academic journals including BMC Psychology<\/b><\/a>, the Journal of Positive Psychology<\/a><\/b> and the Journal of Medical Internet Research<\/a><\/b>. Consistently, these studies show that people who engage in The Lift Project experience 30-40 percent reductions in depressive symptoms, anxiety and stress, while enjoying significant improvements in positive attributes of their mental health such as vitality and flourishing.<\/p>\n

The mission of The Lift Project is to lift 10 million lives<\/em>. There is still a long way to go to reach this goal, but I would love for you to be added to that number.<\/p>\n

Before we commence the adventure, there are a few important points I need to highlight.<\/p>\n

Firstly, I am not naively suggesting that The Lift Project can lift you to be a 10 out of 10 on the emotional ladder, day in, day out\u2014that is not realistic. Sometimes life is tough and we all have ups and downs. To quote the ancient wisdom of Solomon, \u201cThere is a time for everything\u2026a time to weep and a time to laugh.\u201d That said, I am overwhelming confident\u2014and the data supports this claim\u2014that The Lift Project can help you take at least a step or two up the ladder. There is hope. Of course, if you experience extended periods of low mood and exhaustion, it is important to seek medical advice from your doctor or healthcare provider.<\/p>\n

Secondly, it is not enough to simply learn the content; you need to act on it. Transformation requires action. So, at the end of each lesson I will provide some challenges that involve putting the learnings into practice. I can\u2019t emphasise enough the importance of engaging with these challenges. The more you put in, the more you will get out.<\/p>\n

Finally, one of the most rewarding things about The Lift Project for me are the stellar individuals who have taken an interest in championing its mission. I am eternally grateful to them\u2014you know who you are. The Lift Project is only where it is today, and will only realise its potential, because of you. My heartfelt thanks.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

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How much of your happiness do you get to choose?<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n
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In 2008, prominent researchers argued<\/a><\/b> that genetics accounts for about 50 percent of our long-term happiness and our life circumstances contribute around 10 percent, leaving us 40 percent to decide through our intentional attitudes and actions. The relatively low contribution of our life circumstances is a hopeful message\u2014regardless of the circumstances of our life we can discover more joy\u2014but the apparently high genetic contribution is surprising to many. However, a new field of science called \u201cepigenetics<\/a><\/b>\u201d is calling into question the extent to which our genes determine our happy or sad fate. Epigenetics is showing that while our genes might load the gun, our lifestyle behaviours pull the trigger–nurture<\/i> is proving to often be more important than nature<\/i>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

A 2017 report<\/b><\/a> that appeared in the Journal of Happiness Studies reduced the genetic contribution to \u201coverall happiness\u201d from 50 percent to between 32-40 percent. This would suggest that an increasing amount of our overall happiness (i.e. more than the originally purported 40 percent) is within our control. Personally, I believe that our life circumstances can contribute more to our long-term happiness than the 10 percent that has been claimed, but the takeaway message is that we probably get to choose about half of our happiness. The Lift Project will show you how to choose well.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

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I am Australian, and we \u201cAussies\u201d are famous for shortening the names of virtually everything to make them simpler to say\u2014characteristically the mascots for the Sydney Millennium Olympics were \u201cSyd,\u201d \u201cMillie\u201d and \u201cOlly.\u201d In the spirit of simplicity, let me introduce you to your \u201cLimbo,\u201d which is the nickname I have given to the part of your brain referred to as the \u201climbic system.\u201d Your Limbic system contains several structures, all with complicated names, but getting to know it as the \u201cLimbo\u201d will suit our purposes just fine.\u00a0As you are about to discover, the Limbic region is an incredibly important part of your brain that you will want to keep in great working order.<\/p>\n

Just in case you are wondering where your Limbo lives, it is located in the middle of your brain, just below the part that looks like a cauliflower, which I like to call the \u201cLeader\u201d. You will be learning more about the Leader a little later.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

While there is some debate among brain scientists regarding what structures are considered part of the limbic system, I concur with the well-respected Neuroscientist D Clark who includes the amygdala, hippocampus, cingulate gyrus, septal nuclei, hypothalamus, olfactory system, sensory association cortices and portions of the thalamus. I am sure you feel better for knowing that!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Much has been learnt about the Limbic system through the work of inquisitive brain researchers who love to push buttons and see what happens. They began by wiring up the Limbos of cats and rats in a way that allowed the researchers to send a tiny electrical impulse to the area when they pushed a button.<\/p>\n

The researchers noted that if they stimulated one part of a cat\u2019s Limbo<\/a><\/b>, the cat would begin to purr (and dribble of course), become playful, and generally turn into a very happy and likeable animal. Intriguingly, if the researchers continued to stimulate this part of the cat\u2019s brain, it would also lose all interest in food. Happy and thin, what could be better? Having your Limbo wired up in this way sounds appealing. But don\u2019t be too hasty. The researchers discovered that if they moved the wires slightly and stimulated another part of the cat\u2019s Limbic system, the opposite reaction occurred: the cat threw a hissy fit\u2014hackles up, claws out, and even some spitting thrown in for effect. What\u2019s more, the cat would eat anything it could get its paws on. Repetitive stimulation of the cat\u2019s Limbic region in this way caused it to morph into an obese, hostile fiend that was no fun to be around.<\/p>\n

So that the rats in the laboratory didn\u2019t feel left out, the researchers also wired up their Limbos, but this time they added another element. They provided the rats with the capacity to press the button so that they could stimulate their own Limbic system<\/a><\/b>. To the amazement of the researchers, the rats repeatedly pressed the button, even in preference to eating and drinking. If left unchecked, the rats would eventually die from exhaustion, albeit with their tiny paws still poised on the button, attempting one more buzz.<\/p>\n

Home of Happy\u2014the Limbo\u2019s main gig is mood<\/strong><\/h3>\n

The researchers had discovered that the Limbic system is the region of the brain responsible for emotions. \u2018Feeling\u2019 is its core business and \u2018mood\u2019 its main gig. If stimulated in the right way it made the cats and rats feel good; if stimulated in the wrong way it made them feel bad.<\/p>\n

Our brains are not unlike that of rats and cats, a little larger (in most cases) and more complex, but we too have a Limbo. And just like cats and rats, our Limbic system is the part of our brain that determines how we feel\u2014scientists even refer to it as the \u201cemotional brain<\/a><\/b>.\u201d Put simply, it can be your \u201chome of happy\u201d if you stimulate it in the right way. This is what you are going to explore next: how you can stimulate your Limbo in the right way so that you can feel better and \u201chappier\u201d more often\u2014more up and less down! There are some really good reasons why this is important.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

A note on \u201chappiness\u201d<\/span><\/h4>\n

For some people, the word \u201chappy\u201d can seem a little trite as it conjures images of fake positivity. My definition of happiness is \u201cfeeling good and feeling good about life\u201d as this captures the goal of the two domains of wellbeing<\/a><\/b>, referred to as hedonic<\/em> wellbeing (i.e. feeling good) and eudemonic<\/em> wellbeing (i.e. feeling good about life). In The Lift Project you will discover science-based strategies for positively and authentically pursing both of these domains. For simplicity, I will often just use the word \u201chappy\u201d.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Greater quality of life<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Firstly, being more emotionally well leads to a greater quality of life. Think about this statement for a moment: the quality of your emotions determines the quality of your life<\/em>. I am sure you will agree this is true. If you spend most of your time up and feeling good, life is good. If on the other hand, you spend most of your time feeling down and low in mood, life is lousy. Note that the things in your life\u2014your relationships, circumstances, possessions, and so on\u2014are merely vehicles to emotions. If these things lead to positive emotions they contribute to our quality of life, whereas if they breed negative emotions they detract from our quality of life. As much as you are able, it is good to surround yourself with \u201cwings\u201d as compared to \u201cweights.\u201d In short, the first good reason you should endeavor to give yourself an emotional boost is that it ensures your quality of life is better, and as upbeat people are more fun to be around, the quality of life of those you associate with will be better as well!<\/p>\n

Live longer<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

The second reason to pursue emotional wellness is that happy people tend to live longer. In 2001, researchers from the University of Kentucky published a fascinating paper on the longevity of nuns. The researchers uncovered the autobiographies of 180 nuns that had been penned when the nuns first entered the convent in the 1930s. The researchers then analysed the tone of the writings \u2014whether they were upbeat and optimistic or forlorn and pessimistic\u2014to see if it influenced how long the nuns lived. It is worth noting that nuns are ideal for a study like this because their lifestyle habits are quite comparable: they have a similar diet and physical activity levels, and they don\u2019t do drugs or participate in other risky activities! The researchers found<\/a><\/b> that less than one in five of the least happy nuns were still alive at the age of 93, whereas over half of the happiest nuns were.<\/p>\n

Similar findings<\/a><\/b> have been replicated by other studies. While analysing the writings of well-known deceased psychologists, researchers from the University of Kansas found that those who used more positive emotional words lived about 3 years longer<\/a><\/b>. Another study found that older individuals with a more positive outlook towards ageing lived 7.5 years longer<\/a><\/b> than those who didn\u2019t share the same optimistic outlook. In a more recent study<\/a><\/b>, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, the researchers concluded that optimism is related to 11-15 percent increased lifespan. Similarly, in a 2019 systematic review and meta-analyses<\/a><\/b>, the researchers concluded that an optimistic outlook was associated with a 14 percent reduced likelihood of dying early from all causes.<\/p>\n

To take it one step further, researchers from Wayne State University asked the question, \u201cCan longevity be predicted by something as simple as how much someone smiles in a photograph?\u201d To test it, they took 230 Major League baseball cards from 1952, rated the player\u2019s \u201csmile intensity\u201d on the card, and mapped it against how long they lived. Remarkably, the players who pulled the cheesiest grins (these full smiles are referred to as Duchene<\/em> smiles), <\/b>lived on average 7 years longer<\/a><\/b> than those who didn\u2019t smile at all.<\/p>\n

A smile adding seven years to your life is truly incredible, although it obviously wasn\u2019t just one smile\u2014the smiley players in the baseball study were probably smilier most of the time. (Although, it is probably worth smiling more in photos just in case!)<\/p>\n

A little later you will learn why<\/em> being happy increases your lifespan, but the takeaway message is that happy people tend to live longer. After reviewing many studies examining the relationship between longevity and happiness, renowned researcher Dr Ed Diener estimated that a very happy person is likely to live between 4 to 10 years longer<\/a><\/b>than their unhappy neighbour. It would seem that the ancient proverb is correct: \u201cBeing cheerful keeps you healthy; it is a slow death to be gloomy all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

How does aging affect happiness?<\/h3>\n

Studies<\/a><\/b> suggest that age does affect our happiness and sense of wellbeing, but perhaps not in the way that you might think. The relationship between age and happiness appears to be U-shaped, meaning that people\u2019s level of happiness tends to be at a minimum around the middle of their life (i.e. in their 40s). The relationship has been observed in numerous countries and for both males and females (although males might dip a few years later than females). A good take away from the data is that growing old might not be such a bad thing!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Be more successful<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

The final reason you should strive to be more emotionally upbeat is that happier people tend to be more successful. To continue the theme of \u201csmiling studies,\u201d one study found that the extent to which women smiled in their college yearbook photo significantly predicted their levels of wellbeing and marital satisfaction 30 years later<\/a><\/b>. That is even after taking into consideration how physically attractive or socially desirable the women were deemed to be.<\/p>\n

The productivity benefits of happiness have been repeatedly demonstrated in the workplace.<\/b> <\/a>Happier employees are more creative, display superior performance, are more inclined to \u201cgo the extra mile,\u201d and perform more helpful acts that translate to better customer service.<\/p>\n

Happier people also tend to be more present, in more ways than one. They exhibit less absenteeism by taking fewer days off. Perhaps even more importantly, they demonstrate lower levels of \u201cpresenteeism\u201d, which relates to that experience of \u201cbeing there but not really being there?\u201d Happy people tend to experience it less. It is hardly surprising then that happy people tend to earn more<\/a><\/b>\u2014one study found as much as 30 percent more! It literally pays to be happy!<\/p>\n

I hope you are gaining a sense of the importance of getting your Limbo into a great state; it can affect your quality of life, length of your life, and how successful you might be. There is still more you need to know about your Limbo. While the Limbos foremost function is feeling, it also has three other important functions. As you consider them, note that these other three functions are always linked to Limbo\u2019s primary function of feeling.<\/p>\n

memory<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Do you need help with your memory at times? Do you find yourself forgetting things you should remember, but remembering things you probably should forget? It is your Limbo that decides what gets filed and what gets forgotten, and it makes that decision on the basis of how it feels<\/em>.<\/p>\n

By way of illustration, have you ever had the embarrassing experience of meeting someone for the first time only to have their name vanish from your head moments after they have told it to you? Their name has gone in one ear and out the other! What makes it more embarrassing, is when they have clearly made a mental note of your name and insert it into every sentence at least three times: \u201cSo Darren, tell me Darren, how is your day going, Darren?\u201d It is awkward to ask their name again because it suggests a care factor of zero when you heard it the first time. In other words, if there is not strong feeling<\/em> attached to something, we tend to forget it. This is why Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, states that the sweetest sound to anyone is that of their own name. It communicates we care.<\/p>\n

On the flip side, we have no problem remembering the name of a certain someone who sets our heart aflutter. I don\u2019t recall much about grade three\u2014I don\u2019t remember the classroom or the teacher\u2014but I do remember the name of the girl I had a crush on. When I got to sit next to her in story-time my heart pounded in my chest. I remember her name to this day because strong feelings promote strong memories.<\/p>\n

While we are on the topic of school, which teachers feature most prominently in your memory? I can recall two. The first strapped at least half the class each time we met and so I lived in fear of him. The second took an interest in, and nurtured me, which made me feel good about myself. Ironically, I remember little of what they taught me in class, but I will always remember them because of the way they made me feel. Indeed, the thing we remember most about people is the way they make you feel. This is worth reflecting on. How do you make others feel? You will be remembered or forgotten, for it.<\/p>\n

The take away message is that your Limbo, which is primarily responsible for your feelings, is also in charge of your memories. Hence, if you don\u2019t feel strongly you will likely forget, and if you do feel strongly you will likely remember. If the feelings are intense enough\u2014like when a terrifying event triggers a phobia\u2014you can remember for a lifetime. [For a fascinating insight into the life of Rebecca Sharrock, who can remember everyday of her life since birth, check out this podcast<\/a><\/b><\/strong>. Her story testifies to the strong link between memories and emotion].<\/p>\n

As you proceed you will discover many more uncanny things about the Limbo\u2019s involvement in memory, but I hope you are gaining a sense of how important this part of your brain is!<\/p>\n

motivation<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Most of what you do, you do for a feeling\u2014either to avoid pain or achieve pleasure. Aristotle arrived at that notion thousands of years ago. The reason for this is that your Limbo\u2014your emotional hub\u2014is responsible for your drives. It is for this reason that feelings move you. In fact, the word \u201cemotion\u201d quite literally means \u201cto move.\u201d<\/p>\n

This is why fear and love\u2014the two strongest feelings experienced by humans\u2014are tremendous motivating forces that inspire our best efforts. Even someone who avoids exercise at all costs will find it easy to find the motivation to push themselves to levels of exhaustion they didn\u2019t know existed if they are chased by something they are petrified of! Strong feelings like love and fear can also motivate you to perform all manner of strange and sometimes embarrassing actions. In his book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman points out that smart people can do some really dumb things when feelings gets involved, or in other words, when the Limbo takes over.<\/p>\n

For many years, I have been involved in helping people adopt healthier lifestyles and what I can tell you is that to achieve long-term behaviour change requires more than just knowledge. The world is full of people who know what to do but who don\u2019t do what they know. Why? Well just ask someone why they are eating a pizza the size of their head even though they said they were going on a diet, and they will tell you: \u201cI feel<\/em> like it!\u201d Ask a couch potato why they don\u2019t get up and do something active and they will tell you: \u201cI don\u2019t feel<\/em> like it.\u201d They couldn\u2019t be more explicit\u2014their Limbo isn\u2019t in the mood and so their motivation levels are low. The behaviour change experts who wrote the book Change Anything<\/a><\/b><\/em> advise that in order to adopt a new behaviour for good, you need to discover a way to feel<\/em> positively about it.<\/p>\n

Clearly, mood and motivation go hand in hand, so if you are interested in discovering greater levels of motivation, you need to leverage your Limbo. As you implement the Limbo-lifting strategies you are learning, don\u2019t be surprised to discover more motivation!<\/p>\n

many automatic bodily processes<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I know you<\/em> are not the kind of person who exceeds the speed limit when driving a car, but you probably know someone who does. Hypothetically speaking, if that person<\/em> were to speed down the road and then suddenly hear a siren and notice in their rear-view mirror a police car with flashing lights indicating for them to pull over, they would likely experience several automatic changes within their body: their heart would pound in their chest; their palms would sweat; and butterflies would come alive in their stomach.<\/p>\n

There is a strong relationship between your emotional state and many automatic bodily processes. I say \u201cautomatic bodily processes\u201d because they occur without you having to think<\/em> about them. In fact, thinking<\/em> can\u2019t make your heart rate increase, palms sweat and tummy lurch, unless of course you think about something that makes you feel<\/em>, in which case the Limbo does the work. You will learn more about this later.<\/p>\n

As the Limbo has such an impact upon our heart, it is not surprising that people with higher anger scores are two and a half times more likely to experience a heart attack<\/a><\/b> than more placid folk. Similarly, it is understandable that the emotional stress of being exposed to heavy traffic increases the risk of a heart attack<\/a><\/b> <\/strong>in the following hour, by almost three times. There are now many studies indicating that a happy Limbo helps your heart to be happy too<\/a><\/b>.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Can you die from a broken heart?<\/span><\/h4>\n

There is a medical condition called Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy<\/em> that describes heart attack like symptoms in response to emotional trauma. In 2012<\/a><\/b>, approximately 7,000 cases of the condition were recorded in the United States, with the vast majority being amongst women.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

In case you were thinking that those butterflies that take flight in your stomach during anxious moments are harmless, think again. Researchers are discovering that there is an intimate connection between the brain and the gut, as you will learn more about later. Scientists have discovered that approximately 70 percent of your immune system is distributed around your gut<\/a><\/b>, and so it is little wonder that an upset gut can influence your health in a very profound way.<\/p>\n

In a fascinating study conducted by researchers from the University of Ohio, blister wounds administered to the forearms of married couples took 30 percent longer to heal following an animated argument<\/a><\/b> with their spouse, which of course raised stress levels.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Similarly, wounds inflicted on the hard-palate of dental students <\/b><\/b><\/b><\/b><\/b><\/b>healed 40 percent slower in the stressful lead up to exam<\/b>s<\/a><\/strong> as compared to the low-stress summer vacation period. The take away message is that how you feel affects how you heal<\/em>.<\/p>\n

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Other studies<\/a><\/b>, led by Professor Sheldon Cohen from Carnegie Mellon University who is a leading expert on the topic of stress and immunity, have shown that an individual\u2019s psychological state is a key factor affecting whether they will succumb to a cold or influenza virus when exposed. This observation is of particular interest in the midst of a global pandemic!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

What this means is that it not only feels good to experience positive emotions, it is also good for you<\/em>. Happiness and health go hand in hand\u2014one promotes and complements the other\u2014and the reason for this is the Limbo is intimately involved in both.<\/p>\n

Mmmm\u2014do you want your Limbo in a good state?<\/strong><\/h3>\n

As you consider the functions of the Limbo: M<\/strong>ood; m<\/strong>emory; m<\/strong>otivation and m<\/strong>any automatic bodily processes\u2014you can see that they can be represented as \u201cMmmm.\u201d That is the sound that you are hopefully making as you consider how important it is for you to get your Limbo in the best possible state you can.<\/p>\n

So how can you achieve this? Here comes the exciting part.<\/p>\n

Just like the cats that became friendly or ferocious when the researchers stimulated their Limbo in the appropriate way, you<\/em> can push the buttons to stimulate your own<\/em> Limbo for better or worse. In doing so, you change the way you feel. So let me show you how to stimulate your Limbo for good!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

A wise, old Indian teacher instructs his grandson: \u201cEach of us,\u201d he says, \u201chas two wolves within our head that fight each other. One is a black wolf and it tells us things that bind and destroy. The other is a white wolf that liberates and sets us free.\u201d<\/em>
\n\u201cWhich wolf wins the fight?\u201d asks the grandson.<\/em>
\nThe teacher replies, \u201cThe one we feed.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

– \u00a0Old Cherokee Tale –<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Let me set the scene by asking what might seem like a stupid question. We have established that your Limbo is the emotional hub of your brain\u2014your Home of Happy\u2014but how does it know when<\/em> to make you feel glad, bad, mad or sad?<\/p>\n

The question is not as silly as it sounds. You see, your brain, which includes your Limbo, has no sensation of its own\u2014it cannot feel<\/em> anything of its own accord. When a surgeon operates on the brain he or she has to use anesthetic to get through the scalp and skull because skin and bones have pain receptors, but once inside and working on the brain, no anesthetic is required. Your brain is numb! Cut it, burn it, prod it, poke it, and you won\u2019t feel a thing. This leads back to this interesting question: if your Limbo has no feelings of its own, how does it know what emotion to excite and when?<\/p>\n

The answer is that it relies on what it is told, which of course leads to a further question: what tells<\/em> the Limbo how to feel?<\/p>\n

Your Limbo is hard-wired to several other parts of your body and it receives messages from them. Follow the logic here: if you know what those sources of input to the Limbo are, you can purposefully and intentionally use them to send the messages you want your Limbo to receive and in so doing, change your emotional state. This is what you are about to learn\u2014where your Limbo gets its information from and how you can intentionally use those sources to send your Limbo uplifting inputs. I hope you can see the potential of this to help you live more!<\/p>\n

So, let me tell you about the first source of input to your Limbo.<\/p>\n

Your language zone<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Located in your higher brain (remember I call it the Leader) are two areas, known as the Broca\u2019s and Wernike\u2019s area, that work together to form our speech and language. Leading from these areas is an extensive array of nerves connecting to the Limbo.<\/p>\n

To state it simply: your Limbo listens to your language. With this in mind, there is something else you need to know about the Limbo. Although your Limbo carries some incredible responsibilities\u2014it defines how you feel, determines your motivation, deciphers your memory and directs many automatic bodily processes\u2014it is also highly impressionable. In fact, you can liken your Limbo to a two-year-old child in terms of its ability to think and reason. It is great at its job, but its job isn\u2019t to engage in higher-order thinking; that\u2019s the responsibility of the Leader. Essentially, your Leader is your thinking<\/em> brain while your Limbo is your feeling<\/em> brain, and like an infant relies upon its guardian for leadership, your Limbo looks to the Leader for guidance. Your Leader offers this guidance every time you speak, both to yourself and others. So are the messages you are sending positive?<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

What did I say?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most of us talk to ourselves, we just prefer not to get caught doing it. I always speak to myself just before I launch off the side of a cliff in my hang glider. Before I get in my harness I say to myself, \u201cOK, I have checked the glider and it all looks good, this is going to be a great flight!\u201d Then I fasten myself in and move close to the cliff, and when the conditions feel good I say, \u201cFeels good.\u201d Finally, just prior to taking the first step I say, \u201cClear to go!\u201d Note that I choose my words carefully because others who hear me may think I am speaking to them, and I don\u2019t want to come across as crazy! Why do I talk to myself like this? It makes me feel calmer.<\/p>\n

I am sure you have heard the \u201cspeak positively\u201d thing before and you may have thought it was just pop-psychology. But I hope you now realise that it has merit because your brain is wired that way! Your Limbo is literally hard-wired to be influenced by language.<\/p>\n

My hang gliding illustration is one example of using language for good, but often we use language in negative ways, and this is bad for our emotional wellbeing. For example, if you were to consistently say things like, \u201cOh no, this is really, really bad!\u201d and \u201cI\u2019m so useless!\u201d around a two-year-old in your care, what emotional state would they be reduced to? They would soon become a psychological wreck. Yet many people submit their two-year-old Limbo to this type of verbal battering. Like the Old Cherokee Tale about the wolves, you feed your feelings with your words.<\/p>\n

I see so many examples of people negatively manipulating their own Limbo and reaping undesirable emotional outcomes\u2014effectively sabotaging their own happiness. I once picked up a hitchhiker and as he strapped himself in I asked how he was going. Big mistake! In a gruff tone, he replied, \u201cTerrible! I have the worst luck. Got up this mornin\u2019 and my fridge was broken. Lost all me food and I\u2019d just been shoppin\u2019 the day before. This stuff always happens to me! So I got in me car and it won\u2019t start. So here I am tryin\u2019 to catch a ride in this scorchin\u2019 heat.\u201d He paused for a moment to take a breath and finished with, \u201cAnd the worst thing is these things always come in threes!\u201d How do you think his Limbo was doing? As he spoke I could imagine the two-year-old Limbo inside his skull saying, \u201cWe\u2019ve already attracted two bad things today and another one is on its way!\u201d As the hitchhiker got out of my car I said, \u201cGood luck with that third bad thing.\u201d I was sure he would find it.<\/p>\n

Consider another illustration. If you want to feed a fear, talk it up. For example, few people enjoy needles, but those who fear them most often feed the fear through their language. They will tell you that a standard vaccination needle is \u201chuge\u201d or \u201cmassive.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s as thick as my finger,\u201d they will dramatically proclaim. It doesn\u2019t just feel like a prick, \u201cit kills!\u201d If I was a two-year-old and someone I looked up to was telling me about this horrific experience I was about to endure that kills<\/em>, I think it is fair to say that I too would be terrified. Is it any wonder their Limbo freaks out?<\/p>\n

The point is that what you say to yourself matters because you are designed that way. It doesn\u2019t matter whether the words that ruminate in your head actually find their way out of your mouth, your Limbo still hears them because the message still gets sent from the language area of your Leader down the \u201cwires\u201d to your Limbo. Hence, your internal dialogue<\/em> is also important.<\/p>\n

I make this point because you might be thinking to yourself, \u201cWell when it comes to speaking positively, I am doing pretty well.\u201d However, it is one thing to be able to bite your tongue or even exchange pleasantries with others, but another thing entirely to take control of what is said in your internal world. Indeed, your internal dialogue has a profound effect on how you feel.<\/p>\n

For example, have you ever talked yourself (internally) into feeling a particular way? Perhaps you have felt a little queasy in the stomach and started to tell yourself you might be coming down with something, and ended up having to go and lie down. There is a condition comically referred to as \u2018medical student syndrome\u2019 which refers to the phenomenon where budding doctors believe they have contracted all kinds of diseases after learning about their symptoms. They sit in class and their internal dialogue goes something like this: \u201cI get headaches occasionally\u201d and \u201cOh no, I sort of had a rash that looked a little like that.\u201d Before long they are getting themselves checked out for all manner of ailments.<\/p>\n

I am sure you are familiar with how easy it is to talk yourself (internally) into feeling annoyed with someone. It can start with something innocuous like them not acknowledging you when you asked them a question. The real reason they didn\u2019t respond was because they didn\u2019t hear you, and while you suspect that might have been the case your internal dialogue gets the better of you. Words start forming in your head and your Limbo listens in attentively: \u201cThey always do that. They have absolutely no respect. They must be annoyed with me about something and are trying to make their displeasure known. Well, two can play this game! If they want war, they picked on the wrong person!Ahhh!\u201d It is amazing how quickly internal dialogue can escalate. Within minutes an unsuspecting victim can become a sworn enemy; imagine what days and days of stewing can achieve.<\/p>\n

Another important aspect of internal dialogue is your explanatory style<\/a><\/b>. It is human to try to make sense of life, but it has been observed that people differ in the way they explain life events to themselves<\/em> and this has a big impact upon both their health and happiness. When optimists experience a setback, they tend to explain it to themselves as bad luck, while they attribute good outcomes to their skills and talents. On the other hand, pessimists interpret bad situations as their own creation, and good ones as a coincidental fluke. Essentially, optimists have a tendency to bombard their Limbo with uplifting words, while pessimists flood theirs, with doom and gloom. Is it any wonder pessimists are characteristically seen as sullen and downcast and optimists as bubbly and outgoing?<\/p>\n

The power of words on our emotional brain is well-documented. In fact, bibliotherapy<\/em>\u2014literally meaning \u201cbook therapy\u201d and involves engaging with inspiring writings\u2014has been shown in many studies<\/a><\/b> to be highly effective for giving people an emotional lift. You don\u2019t need to read an entire book, even just a few words can have a positive effect. Researchers from Queen\u2019s University conducted a study<\/a><\/b> in which participants were asked to unscramble sentences of five words. The researchers found that when the sentences included religious words such as \u201cdivine,\u201d the participants displayed more self-control\u2014in the form of being more able to endure discomfort and delay gratification\u2014in exercises performed shortly after.<\/p>\n

In another study, subjects were asked to unscramble seemingly random words. Some subjects were given truly random words, while another group were given words like \u201cFlorida,\u201d \u201cBingo\u201d and \u201cGrey\u201d\u2014words associated with the elderly. While the subjects in the later group didn\u2019t make that connection, as they left the study venue, the researchers observed that these participants moved slower than those participants who didn\u2019t unscramble \u201celderly\u201d words.<\/p>\n

These studies highlight the pervasive influence that words, language and speech can have on your Limbo. The challenges at the end of this chapter will help you speak more positively, but before we get to them, it is important to know that your Limbo listens in not only to what you say to yourself, but what you say to others as well.<\/p>\n

Speaking positively to others<\/strong><\/h3>\n

There is a saying that children are taught to recite in response to unkind words in the school yard: \u201cSticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me\u201d. It is wrong. Words do hurt and we can all attest to it. Notably, maternal criticism<\/a><\/b> from mothers suffering depression has been shown to be a significant risk factor for major depression in their children. But it is not only the young who are impacted by the words of others. Our words literally have the ability to build up or destroy.<\/p>\n

I often muse over \u201ccomeback\u201d statements. You know how it works: someone says something degrading or demeaning to you and so you attempt to level the score by firing a get-even comment back. The reason we respond in this way is because it feels so good, doesn\u2019t it? Or does it? Delivering a devastating comeback may be sweet in the mouth, but it often turns bitter in the belly. Few times in my life have I been sharp enough to make a really good comeback. Usually it takes me about 24 hours to come up with something truly witty and by then the moment has passed. But on the odd occasion I have pulled it off, I can\u2019t report any long-lasting emotional boost. Likewise, if you are honest with yourself, I am sure you will concede that negative speech, whether directed at yourself or at someone else, drags you<\/em> down emotionally. It does so because your Limbo listens in on the lot.<\/p>\n

One of the world authorities on marriage is Professor John Gottman. He and his colleagues have conducted numerous fascinating studies and published prolifically. In one study<\/a><\/b> he could predict with nearly 90% accuracy whether a newlywed couple would divorce within five years simply by listening to how they spoke<\/em> to, and about, each other in an interview. His research suggested that in order for a relationship to flourish, there needs to be at least five positive things said for every one negative<\/a><\/b>.<\/p>\n

The idea of a \u201cpositivity ratio\u201d is intriguing, and John Gottman is not the only one who has discovered it. Marcial Losada studied the effectiveness of business teams and discovered that the highest performing ones were those that had the highest ratio of positive to negative interactions\u2014the best performing teams had 5.6 positive statements for every negative one<\/a><\/b>. While there is some debate<\/a><\/b> about the exact ratio, it seems that approximately five or more positive comments are required for every negative in order for individuals, marriages, families and even businesses to flourish. If the ratio falls below approximately three to one<\/a><\/b>, there is often impending trouble. Speaking positively to others benefits both them and you. Your Limbo gets to hear the words on the way out, and their Limbo gets to hear the words on the way in. So now you have learned the value of speaking positively<\/em>, and the reason why it works, it is time to experience it.<\/p>\n

Putting it into practice<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Here are the challenges I will be offering in the “Experience” section that follows this “Learn” section of the lesson. Remember, the more you put in the more you will get out!<\/p>\n

1. Be complimentary<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Mark Twain once wrote, \u201cI can live for two months on a good compliment.\u201d Following that logic, he could get by on a meagre six compliments a year! Most of us however, need them coming more frequently. So, be the dispenser of compliments. It is an excellent way to help you get your positivity ratio up! In one of the inspiring and quirky presentations by Kid President called \u201c20 things we should say more often<\/a><\/b>\u201d he concludes with, \u201csay something nice!\u201d It is pretty simple but amazingly powerful.<\/p>\n

I often tell my children that there is a greater and a lesser way to make people like you. The lesser way is to make them feel good. The greater way is to make them feel good about themselves<\/em>. Nothing works better at making someone feel good about themself than by offering a compliment. We often think good things about others but we don\u2019t say them enough. Start doing it. It doesn\u2019t need to be face-to-face if that is too scary. Write an email. Send a text. Test and see if it makes a difference to how you<\/em> feel.<\/p>\n

2. Ingrain inspiration<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

We are losing a treasure from the past. Nowadays we have access to information at our fingertips\u2014we can carry around hundreds of books on a small device that fits into our pocket! However, having something in your pocket is not the same as having it in your head! Before the advent of our marvellous technologies, people had limited access to information and therefore had to memorise texts and sayings. There was\u2014and is\u2014tremendous value in doing this.<\/p>\n

So, ingrain inspiration<\/em> by committing to memory one or more inspirational texts or sayings. There are thousands of uplifting things to memorise\u2014just google them! Write it down on a piece of paper or type it into your phone\u2014this is an important step towards memorising anything, especially if you are a visual learner. Practice reciting it until you know it by heart. Every time you do, your Limbo is listening. Also, let it become your response to negative self-talk. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, pinch yourself and instead recite back the inspirational text you have memorised. Use words to boss your brain (Limbic brain) around.<\/p>\n

I try to make a habit of memorising inspirational texts and sayings, and I have lost count of how many times I have had one pop into my head at a time I needed it. It is as though we create a memory bank of wisdom for our two-year-old-like Limbo to draw from\u2026and it does!<\/p>\n

Recap<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Like the rest of your brain, your Limbo is devoid of sensation, so it relies on incoming messages to know when to make you feel happy. One of the sources of input to your Limbo is the language area of the Leader which means that your Limbo is Listening<\/em>. Speaking positively\u2014to both yourself and others\u2014can help you live more!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>

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